Matchmaking is making a comeback, and has turned into quite a lucrative business for many throughout America. Ann Wood; The Matchmaker of Washington DC, has been helping people find love since 1986. In an interview with The Washington Post she cites her ability to get people, particularly men, to open up as one of the reasons her business is so successful.
“Women talk among themselves about looking for someone. Men don’t do that.” That’s where Ann comes in. She helps clients sort out what they want by asking a lot of questions. Here are five that will help almost any man find out if his relationship with a woman has a future.
Her Feelings on Hobbies
Although it is true that opposites attract, every couple needs to be able to do things together. Her hobbies will also tell a man about her personality traits and addictive habits. Instead of asking a woman, “What are your hobbies?”, ask her if she had the entire day to herself with no obligations, what she would do.
This form of the hobbies question will tell a man a lot more than what she likes to do for fun or what they have in common. Does she sleep in, does she take her coffee black, what TV show is she secretly addicted to or what’s her favorite place to go for dinner? It’s a lot more informative, and most women appreciate the creativity of the question.
How She Feels About Family
Over 50 percent of women say that when a man marries them, they are also marrying her family. Her family values or lack thereof, will also hint at other things she finds important. Instead of asking a woman, “Is family important to you?”, try asking her to describe the three most important relationships in her life.
Her answer here will not only tell a man the importance of family (or that it’s not important) but it will also give him a hint about what she values in a relationship overall. It’s a great way to discover whether or not two people value the same things in a relationship without having to ask the age-old question of “What does she look for in a man?”
How She Views Religion
A different religion is one of the top ten reasons couples break up and can be a touchy subject in any relationship. It’s often easier to ask her about why faith matters to her rather than what religion she practices. Instead of asking a woman, “What religion do you practice?”, ask her why faith is important to her. Almost everyone believes in something, but it’s not always God.
In other words, bringing up religion could be considered bad form. However, research shows that people are much less threatened by the term faith. A man who approaches the religion question in this manner will find out that even if a woman’s faith doesn’t include belief in a higher power, it can include things like faith in humanity, faith in a better world, or simply faith in her.
Her Thoughts on Children
By the time women are in their twenties, many know whether or not they want to have kids. But it’s a tough question to ask in a new relationship, so trying a softer approach often works better
Instead of asking a woman, “Do you want kids?”, ask her if she likes kids. Asking a woman if she wants kids too soon can hurt a relationship, but it’s a key factor in whether or not a relationship can continue.
In other words, the wrong answer is a deal breaker for many. However, if a man asks if she likes kids, he’ll generally get his answer to whether or not she wants them in a less intrusive way. If the woman doesn’t already have kids, she’ll say yes and elaborate about wanting more someday, or no and gush about how hard it would be to be a mother. In the end, this form of the question gets the answer without the awkwardness.
How She Feels About Marriage
Over 70 percent of women in America want to get married even if they’ve already tried and gotten a divorce. This need for marriage stems from a need for love. Instead of asking a woman if she wants to get married, ask her why she wants to fall in love. Women want to get married because marriage means love.
Asking about marriage before love is like putting the horse before the cart. For example two out of three women answered the question “Do you want to get married?” with “If I fall in love.” This means men will get more out of finding out why love is so important, and what it means to her. This approach will inadvertently tell a man whether or not she wants to get married, but it’s a much softer approach.
Many matchmakers describe what they do as the fine art of falling in love. These questions are designed to help a man accomplish that. They are all open-ended because it’s hard to learn anything about a woman if she has the ability to answer yes or no. In order for a man to find a girlfriend and if he’s lucky, a soul mate, he’s got to get to the heart of the woman he’s interested in. While it generally takes a lot more than five questions to dig that deep, these five will at least break the surface.